tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363424100608714655.post8054165621921020085..comments2023-03-27T09:23:52.142-04:00Comments on Sewing Gilded Patches with Gracious Threads: No More Howling at the Moon: A Lament for What Will Not Be of MeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363424100608714655.post-68911506346389038232011-04-06T11:36:51.078-04:002011-04-06T11:36:51.078-04:00Jennifer, I love your deep thinking and honesty. Y...Jennifer, I love your deep thinking and honesty. You put nicely a struggle of mine which has haunted me for years now: a midlife crisis of facing the thought that, as you nicely put, "I lament that I am not the one that God chose. I'm not the one, no matter how willing I was to be used, that God needs. I'm grieved that I can't be who or what the church thinks it needs."<br /><br />I wonder over and over and over again; "did I make the right decision to leave ministry? To give up my ordination?" Did I just run away from myself, my demons, my GOD? instead of facing these things straight on, accepting my imperfection is no different than others in my position of leading a flock unwilling to follow?<br /><br />What remains is a faint howling in the silence of the night. Like Jonah, I throw myself over the boat and am swallowed up. Will God bring me out of the belly of the whale? When, I ask, When? <br /><br />Thanks for your honest disclosure of life in the middle. <br /><br />KathleenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com